For most of my childhood, July 4th was a holiday that created "fun" memories...those early days in Indiana before fireworks were illegal, and we had the gawd-given right to blow our fingers right off if we felt like it, daggone it.

Indiana in the 1950's - Solid MidWest America - was perhaps THE definition of post-war U.S.A.. I don't know. Maybe EVERYWHERE was, somehow. It's ALL I knew at the time...but thinking back, it seems like THE place to grow up, despite the rough winters, summer humidity, gnats and 'skeeters. (The film "A Christmas Story" is goose-pimpley near-identical to my early, northern Indiana life.) Our neighborhood was filled with young adults - younger than most of us reading this now - that'd survived the Great Depression and World War II. They were all busy making lots of babies at the same time...especially in my neighborhood, which was almost all Polish immigrant descendants...and dedicated Catholics.

Our neighborhood was an ant pile of activity, the kids knew none of the fears that are now so prominent, we didn't think about whether we were rich or poor, we played much the time...and mainly outside. We learned, by some weird childhood/genetic/grapevine-through-the-ages osmosis phenomenon, the kid's group games - like "Red Rover Red Rover", "Hide and Seek", and "Mumbly Peg". How DOES that happen? Most of the time, though, we made up our own games. There was "Sandbox Army Man Rubber Band Slaughter", "Catalpa Bean Slap Each Other on the Back Screaming Pain", "Metal Clamp-on Sidewalk Skating Until Your Feet Feel Numb", "Shake the Lightning Bugs to Death in a Jar at Night", and "Teddy Saves His Pee in a Mason Jar". Uh, you did that TOO, right?

The "popsicle man" came around on a special peddle bicycle-freezer vehicle, and had a metal ringy-bell on the handlebar. You KNEW his name. HE mattered. The "milk man" came around early in the morning, and while he'd deliver the glass bottle/cardboard stoppered milk to the rear of each home, us kids would jump into the back of his truck and take big, clear, beautiful chunks of ice. This is what kept his milk cold. No refrigeration in those early deliveries. That ice was SO COLD in our hands it was painful, but was the BEST tasting ice of all time. It was puuurrrrrrrrre.

Being Indiana - nasty hot and humid in the summer - the mailman worked hard, carrying all that real mail (no e-mail) in his large, heavy, worn, tan leather bag. Our Moms would always offer him ice water. I'm sure he accepted the refreshment in a democratic style, as to not offend anyone. Hmm...you know.......A LOT of "popsicle, milk, and 'male' MEN came around A LOT during the day...when our Dads were gone..... and... come to think of it, I've always had a special thing for mail order ice milk on a stick...

.......nah...............

Anyhow, I can think back to nearly every square foot of that neighborhood & it's surrounding fields and woods, and come up with rich memories. We LIVED that place. I knew what the bark looked like on each tree, where the grasshoppers liked to sing, which tree would first "turn" in the Fall, and whose roof edge produced the best icicles during a short, midday Winter melt.

We lived those days of undistracted freedom without ever having to think about it. Our parents, Grandparents, and those before them lived, and died, to help make our moments possible. July 4th, for me, is NOT about frayed flags still flying over a fort. For me, now, July 4th is about the people below all those flags, living and dead, that made it possible for me to be oblivious and innocent, if for only a few short, sweet years.

Then it was on me to somehow do MY part for the next group - allowing them their chance to happily and securely take their lives for granted.

The Gods Must be Crazy - Pat and I sat in the theater surrounded by people laughing as though they thought something was funny or witty or insightful. My eyebrows went up and down, my eyes looked from side to side. I felt like I was in an asylum.

Liquid Sky - The dumbest, most pretentious, new wave/punk, nihilist batch of useless crap ever produced. It reminded me of another film with a similar 'tude - "Mysterious Planet" (animated, 1960's, French).

Magical Mystery Tour - Genius is not created from wealth. The Beatles, at whatever level of involvement they had in this poorly made piece of "Merry Prankster" wannabee psychedelic spin-off jerk-off gotta-see-it-
STONED crap, left an embarrassing pile of residue to prove no one is always right. Simple stated, it was made because it could be made.

The Life of Emile Zola - This should've been interesting! How do you take an interesting writer and turn him into a piece of old play-dough embedded with crumbs and random hairs found under the sofa?

West Side Story - Don't even get me started on NYC "teenaged toughs" who wear leotards and twirl their way to back alley gang "rumbles". THIS may be THE musical that caused me to realize musicals are a ridiculous art form... lower than mimes... lower than .... flea circuses... musicals, especially STAGE musicals, are the lowest.

My Fair Lady - See above.

Arthur - Two words: Dudley, Moore.

The King and I - See My Fair Lady.

Mrs. Doubtfire - See The Gods Must be Crazy but take it out of the "art theater" and put it in the mall octiplex.

Between me and Dan - a best friend - that night we'd shared EIGHT entire POTS of coffee over about a four HOUR period (for the huge total of 25 cents per customer drink-all-you-want - god I LOVED IHOP in those daze...), and with us still chatting at speeds to match the car, a 20 foot high, blindingly brilliant lime green, flaming, pulsating DONUT appeared floating over the road 100 feet in front of me.

Yep.

Picture one of those flaming rings-of-fire through which circus lion tamers force their big cats to leap ... but this LSD-ish DONUT was way bigger and thicker... and even brighter.

Well now......... THIS was interesting...

I kept quiet, and slowly eased off the gas pedal. Yeh, it stayed ahead of me. This was good... I wasn't going to smash into it. But, the problem was I could NOT see around it... so I continued easing off the gas... and slowly pulled over to the shoulder of the highway. The DONUT did not go away.

"What're ya doin'?" asked Dan.

"I want you to drive the rest of the way." (He also had a 240Z, so he knew how to drive it.)

(A little advice: this is something you announce once the car is PARKED):

"Why?"

"I'm hallucinating."

"What??!!"

"There's a huge flaming green DONUT in front of me..."

.
.
.
.

Naturally, he agreed to take over.

It was just another evening of being 23.

---

Not to exclude Dan and HIS Road-Hallucination experiences...

He was driving straight through from New York to Denver (which makes my 888 mile Tucson-to-Denver straight-throughs look like an ice cream cruise). I don't remember if it was a combo meal of No-Doz AND coffee or what, but at some point in the middle of the night, as he sped down the highway of Missouri or Kansas or godknowswhere, he saw a Giant - a Huge Giant Man - running along-side his car. The Giant kept pace with his car.

Here's the BEAUTY of being out of your skull: Your ability to adjust is incredible. Dan decided this Giant would help guide his drive, keep him company, and hey, if he had a flat tire or something, there would be a very useful helper with him.

I get all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.

Pass the coffee and donuts.

---

Initially, I posed this challenge:

"Masayuki,

I am a student of World War II. I was born in America in 1950. How old are you, and would you be interested in our talking about your view on the Japanese perspective of that time? We might create something useful for others, and I would like to put it on my web site. What do you think?

Ronn."

---

First, Masayuki's response and self-introduction:

"I am 41, was born in 1967. As I have less experience than you, if you are O.K. I would be happy to talk with you and posting on your web sounds like fun.

Regarding WWII, I have been learning from books, videos, so on. I am not representative of Japanese, however, I can tell you my opinion. Learning history not only about WWII but also people's lives, art and culture is very important for me and is helpful to do in antique industry.

Masayuki"

---

And my self-introduction:

"Masayuki,

I am 58 years old, so neither of us were alive during that terrible time. Still, we both lead lives that were affected by World War II.

I will start by saying I was born only 5 years after the War, and so I was raised in true "post-war" America, with all of its fresh scars and hopes for the future. In this country, the last generations of adults and children faced nothing but economic agony from the Great Depression (1929+) which lead into World War II (the Nazis controlled Germany by 1933, attacked and conquered their first countries in 1939, and, the Japanese began aggressions against China - via Manchuria - in 1931, and continued to fight China without intervention until 1941)), but it was only once Japan attacked the American military at Pearl Harbor Hawaii that caused America to join the "Allied" fight against the "Axis" (Germany, Japan, Italy), in 1941. I will say I am in awe of the hardships, pain, and death this era created for nearly everyone on the planet. I do not wish to have lived during this time, but I am honestly thankful for the sacrifices and eventual outcomes.

Question to you: Were you raised in an environment where WWII was discussed, and, if so, what was the "gist" of your education? If not, why do you think the subject was avoided, or was it only a shortcoming in your personal upbringing?

Ronn."

---

Ronn,
This correspondence would be so fun because I've never done such a style of communication!!

Yesterday after work, I was watching my favorite TV program so called "Are you smarter than a 5th grader?". Question was "How many strings does standard viola have?". One younger kid answered correctlly as 4 strings. It was very impressive that such a small kid knew about it..

Anyway, I was not in an environment to discuss anything not limited to WWII. As far as I remember, typical students who learned based on public educational scheme provided by Japanese government, had no experience to discuss. I think this is biggest difference between U.S. and Japan at the educational system point of view. That's why most Japanese is not good at thinking how controversy or debate works. This was caused by educational system and it might be slightly changed currently. It is very unfortunate. Most important thing for students is to pass the exam, and in the last to memorize silly things as much as possible. Out of this scheme, it is not easy to store fundamental knowledge to use for discussion.

On the other hand, we keep some Japanese tradition in our activity. Let me give you some key words as the following. "Humility", "Modesty" and "restrained style". These words might be considered as kind of negative words in U.S. However, these are words are to describe Japanese beautiful virtue. "NOT to talk too much" is good thing for Japanese. Complicated? Yes!! Therefore, I always try to change comunication style during stay in U.S. and in Japan.

Let's go back to move on your next question.
If you read my talk so far, I think you could guess my answer. Regarding the subject of WWII, this was not avoided. All the discussion is not our daily basis lives. Discussion is mostly being done over the TV program by politician, historian, critic and professionals as jobs to make money not to find out real fact. Of course, thier comment is differ based on thire standing place to keep thier advantages. After all they pissed me off because thier real intention are transparent for watcher. We, ordinary people especially younger age, is starting to think deeply our history and to try to have own opinion.

---

Masayuki,

I am both surprised and not surprised by your answer. Americans are often told that the educational system in Japan is of high quality, but I must admit I also wondered if this was true when it came to creative problem solving and individual thought processes. Perhaps it is fair of me to say that Japan has not only a more cohesive society, but one with more conformity and less creativity?

I attended the American public school system. Often, it did not hold my interest. I also attended over 10 years of university. I then taught university and public schools for 13 more years. I say this to give perspective to my involvement with our educational system. Our educational beliefs change back and forth over the years, from learning "just the facts" (like in Japan), to more introspective and creative methods of problem solving. It seems we cannot decide what it best, and it becomes a "ping pong ball" for politicians.

My education DID include World War II, but not to the level I now think would be sufficient. MOST of our "political" or "military" education was focused on the current (1950's) struggles in the "Cold War" with the U.S.S.R. In fact, one of the reasons I began to study WWII was because of its importance to all of us, yet the coverage seemed minimal. And, the generation who fought in that war - especially the men - would NOT discuss it with us, their children. I never met an older man who would talk openly about that time. Their "scars" ran too deep, and men were taught to not express their feelings, or sometimes even their thoughts. This included my Father. His involvement in WWII is almost a mystery to me, though I have learned a few things over the years - NOT from him, however, but from others. It was this personal and general cultural silence that caused me to look other places for answers.

I do NOT think this silence is from shame. I think the silence was from the sadness of losing friends and family; the horrors they experienced in the fields of battle; a guilt that some soldiers survived while others did not; and the American male behavior of not wanting to openly discuss or relive the past. There was also the period of anti-war feelings in the 1960's-70's due to Viet Nam, which angered and silenced many, if not all military veterans.

My interest in the WWII era is this: we, as humans on this planet at this time - those of us who DO have LIVING MEMORIES of that war or are related to those who do - have within our reach the most extreme planetary event to study that tested everyone to levels unlike any others. If we are to learn anything from that time - which brought out the best and the worst in humans - this is the event, and this is still the time to best consider it (while survivors still live).

Ronn.

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Hi Ronn,

Hours while thinking how to reply to you, are always valuable & practical time for me to clarify my fragmented thoughts!!

Question : In order to make the size of market of plastic bottle to double, what should you do?

This was actual question at the job interview of multi-national consulting company in Japan. In addition to logical thinking & imagination, now it is being required to have potential skills to think deeply from the scratch.

We need to think whole process without our knowledge or experience. We need to think by ourself. I think that "more introspective and creative method of problem solving" in U.S. is ideal way we should try to implement into Japanese educational system as an advanced scheme.

I had over 7 years of university both in Japan & in U.S. and had then more than 13 yrs of a computer engineer. Since my career was changed to antique dealer, I always learn lots of fun things. History of furniture design as well as wood material from 1700s to now, was one thing. And I visited exhibition such as "Bau Haus" to learn 1930s design and to see wonderful piece like the original Breuer chairs.

One day, I knew what I don't know much about history. What I learned about history is segmentalized, so I awaked I need to reassemble those to consistent history in line. Luckily, antique dealing might be transactions of past history, sometimes proof of glory. So, it is linked deeply with history and that's why I had an interest about WWII as well.

As far as I know, older Japanese peole were so poor after WWII. They had nothing to eat, no place to live but expectations for future. Majority of people, mainly young guys who joined to battle were already passed away. So, all the people who were left behind had to alive somehow by eating even wild-life locusts.

From certain period of time back in 1970s, people's life was developed and no worry to eat. At that time prople spoke "The Three Sacred Treasures" which is wanted items by people including a colored-TV, a refrigerator and a wash machine.

At the same time, people started to feel it might become a topic of TABOO to discuss about WWII among the citizens in such a optimistic mood filled with expectations for future.

Simplely, if we NOW start to discuss about WWII with among living young age people who were born after 1950s, discussion would be very practical at perspective point of view. And then a conclusion would be criticism against all the top decision make who decided to start war and brought us a scars, such as old Japanese goverment, prime minister from the millitary and top level commanders.

However, young soldier at battle who are highly trained and brainwashed by militaly, are considered as sacrificed work force. In fact, there were no happy people in Japan for the time being after WWII. I think this is common statement among Japanese.

BUT, during discussion with some older people such as survived people from the battle, families they lost son at battle, discussion would be complicated. We, most of Japanese, don't say bad mouth against older people. We are brought up that we should respect older people.

In addition, there are some older people who still belive that old japanese goverment made right decision, and they were right. At least those people still WANT to believe that old japanese goverment was right because once they agree that old goverment made inappropriate decision, lost young soldiers were deemed as sacrificed work force. They sorry for the lost soldier's life because soldiers had no options to choose other than being into millitaly and were brainwashed that "you could die of pride under emperor". For young guy, being a member of millitary was obligation which coundn't be refused unless they are in serious sick or handicapped. The famous invitation letter by the Japanese government (Millitary) was called "Red Paper".

Since certain period of time from 1960s or later, only some people belong to political group are opening their mouth about this taboo. As you could imagine, these political people including small portion of younger age are right-wing claimer that follow aggressively our independence and don't hesitate power leadership.

In addition, some of member of congress who belong to old-fashined majority such as U.S. republican, are still supported by Japan War-Bereaved association. This means that they speak a comment as representative of profit of association, and they get votes at the campaign which is easily calculated to assume. These additional factor make this situation so complicated for us to fully understand.

Anyway, we have still time to learn because there are few older people who alive now and have living memories of WWII. But time is very limited due to older people's age.

Masayuki

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Masayuki,

In the world of design, I often hear that the Japanese are not often the inventors of ideas, but they Improve on the ideas of others. This would require design research (patent dates, etc.) that I do not have the time to perform. As an engineer and having an interest in design, you may have some insight? Of course, BOTH models of thought are needed. Perhaps this happens CROSS-CULTURALLY more than in does within a SINGLE CULTURE? I don't know.

In my studies of World War II, this would NOT be the case that the Japanese improved ideas of others (their weapons and machinery were of a much lower quality). Yet, the Japanese were very creative and effective in physically preparing complex battle sites (bunkers, tunnels, etc.) (Iwo Jima being a good example). Yet, their philosophy of soldier fighting caused huge losses very quickly, due to a short sighted belief that dying for the Emporer was more desirable than retreating to fight another day (Kamikaze pilots being the best example, or Banzai charges).

MY interest in WWII came to me two ways: my upbringing and my Father having been in that war, and, my interest in that time period because of design. Although it does not sound like either culture wants to be very "open" in their discussions of their pasts, is it fair to say Japan is less historically communicative than America?

What sort of arguments are given by the people who think the Japanese Government was right in WWII? Does this mean they think the sacrifices and losses were worth it? Are they angry that they lost the war? Who are these people who look back and perhaps think of this as a "good" time?

America has its version of the Japanese "Red Paper". It was, and is, called the "Draft". It was not so necessary in WWII, because Americans felt they were right to fight, and willingly joined the military (after the Japanese attack of Pearl Harbor). The American war in Viet Nam was NOT accepted, the Government needed to use the Draft to get soldiers, and the entire mistake nearly crushed this country's heart.

I did not know about the Japan War-Bereaved Association.

Ronn.

P.S. - I had to laugh about the "Three Sacred Treasures"! This sounds very American from the 1950's!

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Hi Ronn,

I feel same thing as you mentioned regarding world of design. Japanese is not good at inventing from the scratch with a few exception such as Blue LED(Light Emitting Diode). Most likely these rare Japanese inventor goes to foreign contry though...

In a computer industry, there are two different field, hardware and software. From the compact personal computer to high-end "SUPER Computer", objectives to be achived were very obvious and clear. Weight saving, downsizing and speeding up of transaction. These are fields which Japanese can show its chhracteristics to improve the ideas. For long time, it was not needed to care about design in hardware industry until very creative and innovative company "Apple Computer" comes up in a market. Thier highly accomplished product design is still inspiring us.

On the other hand, Japanese software engineer like me worry about the future of software industry in Japan. They always like to discuss but no effective solution coming up so far.

Let's move on to WWII topic.
Yes, "Dying for the Emperor" was most desireable and meaningful way for young soldiers at WWII. This means that "existence of Emperor" is special and sacrament for Japanese rather than Japanese prime minister. At that moment, the people fighted with the pride and soul that we are born where the sun rise, but not technology. They didn't have enough physical & human resources to research and development for anything. Therefore, they had to chose more spiritual tactics such as Kamikaze pilot or sucide attack, instead of development of high technology.

>is it fair to say Japan is less historically communicative than America?

Basically, old Japanese who have living memory of WWII may want to forget or put away. And young generation are not interested in past history. So, it might be a result of less historically communicative. I'm not sure about situation of America.

>What sort of arguments are given by the people who think the Japanese Government was right in WWII?

As far as I remember, I have not heard such a active discussion over the coverage by the people who followed the Japanese Government. Most of people were passed away or are very old. And they thought they live with Emperor and die under Emperor with pleasure and pride. As all the important political decision was made by government, and then it was approved by Emperor, people thought decision of government is by Emperor.
They purely admire the Emperor, and trust Emperor completely. Logic was not important for them at that time because Emperor was so spiritual for them. These complexity makes us difficult to understand.

>Does this mean they think the sacrifices and losses were worth it? Are they angry that they lost the war?

In fact, the sacrofices of young soldiers as well as typical citizens were very sad with no doubt. On the other hand, as young soldires could die under the Emperor, old people think we should keep young soldier's death with dignity. Now, we know we live in peaceful world because they made a history. So, we are very sorry for thier lost. There might be some people who are angry against Japanese government when they lost and most Japanese were in very sad situation. However, decision to surrender which was made finally and broadcasted over radio by the Emperor, was respected by all the citizens. As I wrote before, the emperor is always special for Japanese.

>Who are these people who look back and perhaps think of this as a "good" time?

Almost nobody who think as a "good" time I guess. They might want to be free from the abhorrent history.

> The Japanese "Red Paper" was called the "Draft" here. It was not so necessary in WWII, because Americans felt they were right to fight, and willingly joined the military. Viet Nam was NOT accepted, the Draft was needed by the Government, and the entire mess nearly crushed this country's heart.

In my opinion, Americans fight for the pride, democracy, freedom and for victory. Of course, Japanese fighted for victory, hoever, invited and being a member of military meant to die. They knew it is shame to retreat from the battle field and alive. That's why they told a farewell to family, and went to battle field.

P.S. For a long time, America is a dream country for Japanese and Hawaii was dream place where they want to visit. We had strong influences in various kinds of fields from America.

Thx & best regards,

Masayuki

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Masayuki,

One of the positive results of the terror Hitler brought to Europe was that major thinkers, inventors, scientists, designers, and artists fled to America in the 1930's. Until Hitler, Europe was considered the right place to be for much of this advanced thinking. The reputation of America as a place of freedom and creativity therefore made it possible to acquire even more of these people when there seemed to be nowhere else to go in safety.

One problem with Americans is they have "short memories". America is a nation of people who want to welcome oppressed peoples of the world, but fear the loss of traditions and status quo. We seem to never quite resolve this issue - because of our "short" (lack of education in History) memories of how many times this has happened in America, and how much benefit has come from allowing in new peoples. Yes, it is true, this also brings much confusion and stress.

So it is "Apple" computers that inspire Japanese engineers and designers? Why do Japanese designers of software worry? Do you see the education of the young Japanese losing quality, or, do you see the young losing their sense of duty to get their education?

As I understand it, the Japanese viewed the Emporer as the embodiment of God on Earth. Is this correct? So, they fought out of DUTY to the Emporer, and to not shame the family, but in America they fought for other ideals. Do I understand you correctly?

I think it is amazing that after so many years of WWII, the announcement of surrender by the Emporer would be enough to satisfy the people.

You and I are only two men who were not alive during World War II, but have an interest in the ideas of cultural destruction and creativity. Now here is a very difficult question for you:

Do you think that at that time the Japanese people would have EVER surrendered WITHOUT the American atomic bombs used on Hiroshima and Nagasaki - which made it clear that to continue would mean the total destruction of Japan, OR, did they only surrender because of the Emporer's announcement? If the Emporer had not told his remaining people to stop, do you think they would have CONTINUED even after the atomic bombs?

I believe it was the Emporer who had rightly concluded it was time - or past time - to surrender - otherwise Japan would lose EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING.

Ronn.

PS: Please also talk about American influences since World War II.

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Hi Ronn

Ragrding the positive results in 1930's is very interesting to me. Even now, this policy is still continuing by U.S. government & home-land security, and in addition to inventors, scientist and artists, America is accepting more outstanding people in various kinds of fields such as professional baseball, basket ball, soccer, and so on. I think these extraordinary resources makes America's potential possiblity more powerful. And sometimes cooperative project with domestic resources would make incredible outcome.

In architectural area, My favorite artist, Marcel Breuer (from Hungary) and Mies Van Der Rohe(from Germany) , may be good examples.

So, personally I don't feel America is facing the loss of tradition. It might be progressively weaken for a long term view though...but this is still abstract imagination for me. I really appriciate if you could tell me a specific examples to explain how you feel to fear to loss of American tradition.

In addition to acceptance of outstanding people, I understand according to coverage that American farmers rely on the direct workforce of foreigners (i.e. from Mexico) to get more cheaper resouces. Furthermore, indirectly American manufactures rely on the cheaper resouces from China so that they can give lower price products into market. Otherwise, current whole scheme can not be kept further. This is exactly same situation we can see in Japan as well.

>So it is "Apple" computers that inspire Japanese engineers and designers? Why do Japanese designers of software worry? Do you see the education of the young Japanese losing quality, or, do you see the young losing their sense of duty to get their education?

The birth of "Apple" computers was revolutionary epoch in computer industry in both hardware & software. They introduce so much fun machine. Those machine are highly stylish and unique shape. And, they often introduce No.1 spec in the world. Even their TV commercial, it is very eye catching.

Most significant feature of "Apple" is user interface on an OS(operating system) software. Under thier infuluence, Bill Gates of Microsoft could develop of OS and nowadays tons of people over tha world can use computers. I think unfortunately these innovative imagination might not be from Japanese.

About young education, my thought is based on the survey of OECD. Basically, ministry on education in Japan frequently change a scheme of programs. So, I think young Japanese are victims after all.

>As I understand it, the Japanese viewed the Emporer as the embodiment of God on Earth. Is this correct? So, they fought out of DUTY to the Emporer, and to not shame the family, but in America they fought for other ideals. Do I understand you correctly?

>I think it is amazing that after so many years of WWII, the announcement of surrender by the Emporer would be enough to satisfy the people.

You correct mostly what I wrote in the mental point of view. In addition, the Emperor was actually head of state of Japan under the Constitution of the Empire of Japan enacted in the Meiji era and was also top of military like George W. Bush.

The previous emperor who announced to public at WWII, passed away 20 years ago. But the current emperor is also being followed by citizens continuously and the topic of the emperor's family is watched by people.

In June, 1945, main island of Okinawa was occupied by U.S. after tough battle so called "Operation Iceberg". According to survey which was announced in 1976, Japanese died by 188136 people and U.S. died by 12520 people and injured by 72000 people.

At that time, Japanese government was considering and working via Swiss and U.S.S.R. to finish the battle with keeping the scheme of "the Emperor" and organization of military. So, most of Japanese government was looking for appropriate way to end the war. However, as this was not achived succesfully Japanese government didn't have any other option, so they HAD TO continue to plan Mainland battle.

One month later in July, 1945, Japanese government ignored the Potsdam Declaration offered because they didn' t know U.S.S.R. would fight against Japan. And Japanese government finally accepted after atomic bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki.

I think Japanese government would surrender SOONER OR LATER in spite of atomic bomb because difference of military power between U.S. and Japan was obvious. Japanese government was expecting that 10 million people would be died of hunger in winter 1945 and they were understanding people's complaint. Of course, there were no food, oils and so on.

As a result, atomic bomb was triggered Japan to finish the war EARLIER. If no Hiroshima and Nagasaki attack, battle in main land would be more longer and more people would be died. After all, the Emperor made an appropriate decision to save the life of remaining Japanese and its identity. Actually his announcement to the citizens over radio was his ture apologies. Many Japanese cried when listened to it.

Finally, this is unknown fact that Japanese citizens died in Okinawa by 38754 people out of total 188136 people and many of Japanese citizens died by Japanese soldier or mass suicide, which was directed by military. These suicide attack "Kamikaze" and mass suicide might be based on characteristic and DEEP TRAGIC consciousness in Asian or Islamic world. It is very SAD.

Anyway, I just give you some examples. Some people still think that U.S. wanted to test atomic bomb to Japan not to Italy or Germany. Although Japanese-American in U.S. was deported to concentration camp in western states, but not Italian or German in U.S. Why?

Even now, some people suggest that U.S. try to use latest technology weapons, especially in asian/middle eastern country. Atomic bomb in Japan, F-117 Night Hawk in Iraq and B2 Stealth in Yugo. Why?

There are still conflictions in the world in such areas, Arab, Israel, Iraq, North Korea.....and deep tragic consciousness is being handed down over the generations.

I think an important key is to understand the difference of thought of countries and to share the same goal as piece over the world. I believe that ONLY education make it possible to achive but it still take a long time. Talking about American's influences would be next.

Thx & best regards,

Masayuki

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Masayuki,

Our conversation is getting more challenging! I think that is good.

I agree with you that the United States DOES attract many talented people, and more international collaborations might be good at times. But, I also think that people of many countries are suspicious of collaborations which make them dependent upon another country. History has shown this is a delicate and dangerous position to take, especially with natural resources or military information. It is dangerous because alliances shift more often than we like to admit. I don't think any country truly trusts another country with its future. Today, the OIL situation is a very good example. During the 1920's-40's, it was LAND, GROWTH, CROP POTENTIAL, MINERALS, SLAVE LABOR, SPACE, TACTICAL POSITION, and yes, OIL.

>"I really appriciate if you could tell me a specific examples to explain how you feel to fear tp loss of American tradition."

Okay, I will try. I will try to speak for more people first, and then for myself:

More people: Americans are angry their traditions (and LAWS) that only LEGAL visitors and citizens can work in the United States are being broken and fought against.

Myself: I have lived in another country (Holland). When I moved there, it was with my understanding and dedication I wanted to be in THEIR culture and follow THEIR rules and ideas, NOT America's. Otherwise, WHY GO THERE? From the very first day I arrived, I began learning their culture, their laws, their language. I did NOT expect to be treated special, or to have my American traditions pampered. So, I do NOT like visitors or new citizens of THIS country feeling entitled to special, non-American treatment either.

It is true that our economies are tied together in many complex ways, and it might require a huge, planet-wide disaster to ever separate them again, but I am against ANY country hiring ILLEGAL aliens, no matter what the cost saving (yes, I would pay more). And, I DO think it is better to keep separate national identities - to "diversify" - which is safer - more ability to adapt to change. I do NOT mean we should avoid one another or not attempt to understand one another. I simply think it is the wise, natural order of things to be ADAPTABLE, and the more we become an international "organism", the less we can adapt to local changes. Bureaucracy, and power in the hands of the few, has never been known for its fairness or wisdom.

Masayuki, do you think the Japanese educational system is becoming more like the American system?

Yes, the battles of Okinawa were some of many terrible battles. However, it is VERY difficult for me to believe that the Japanese did NOT understand that Russia would fight against Japan. Russia was part of the Allied Forces against the Axis Forces (Germany, Italy, Japan) for most of the war.

I think for many of those who are reading this, the fact the Japanese were - at that time - willing to kill other Japanese and themselves, is shocking news. Yes, Americans know about the Kamikaze... perhaps also the Banzai attacks... but not of the mass murders of Japanese civilians performed by the Japanese military, and the mass suicides by the Japanese - BEFORE the atomic bombs were used! This is terrible history, and very confusing to Americans.

>Some people still think that U.S. wanted to test atomic bomb to Japan not to Italy or Germany.

This is not true. The tests were done in America. The bombs were not complete earlier in the War. The timing of their use was due to this. It was also concluded that the Italians, followed by the Germans, would rather surrender than all die. This was not the Allied understanding of the Japanese. The Allies felt the Japanese would NOT surrender under the standard tactics used up to this point in time... and the Allies were right. The bombs were "required" to stop ongoing fighting. This is very sad but true - the bombs saved many lives, both Japanese and Allied Forces.

>Although Japanese-American in U.S. was deported to concentration camp in western states, but not Italian or German in U.S. Why?

From what I have read, a number of factors were involved: The American government believed the Japanese-Americans had STRONGER ties to Japan and "old country" family than did German-Americans or Italian-Americans. This was seen as a real threat. Also, the aggressive, sudden attack of Pearl Harbor by the Japanese proved to Americans that the Japanese could do this. The Germans and Italians did not attack America in this way. This made Americans more suspicious of the Japanese. Also, I believe there was a simplistic, racist viewpoint: the Japanese-Americans were easier to "see" than European-Americans. I do NOT think this was the MAIN issue, however. (By the way, we DID have German prisoner-of-war camps in the U.S. at that time.)

I do not believe America has intentionally tested weapons on the innocent civilians of other countries...but I DO think that when aggressions are occurring in a part of the world, countries DO "test" their weapons in the next available field of battle (and on their own soil). It is well-known that Germany only fought with Spain in the 1930's as a method of testing their tactics and equipment before they began their plans to conquer Europe and Russia. In fact, I believe that had the Germans been successful, they would have broken all treaties with and tried to conquer Italy, Japan, and moved on to fight China, Mexico, etc., and wanted to conquer the United States, Canada, etc. They wanted the world. Japan was also Imperialistic, but it is my understanding, they wanted only Manchuria, China, and surrounding areas.

Here is an interesting piece of history for you: at one time Japan was so certain they would conquer North America, they created a new paper money for replacement use in North America as part of their plan to destroy the existing order.

Ronn.

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Hi Ronn

Thanks for your reply!!
Everytime I read your reply, I feel it is very precious moment because this kind of talk is first time for me. Also, I'm always inspired by your idea and opinions.

I understand about what you pointed out. Sometimes I feel same thing. In Japan, there are 2nd or 3rd generations of "Korean-Japanese" and "Chinese-Japanese" who were born in Japan and speak Japanese as same as Japanese.

They works with Japanese and are tax payer as same as tyipical Japanese. Of course, they are permitted legally to live in Japan as permanent resident, however, they don't have rights to vote and are not eligible to work as public employee such as government related services. This policy have been kept by Japanese government and is might be from thinking of suspicious of collaborations related to confidential informations. Recently, they says it is not fair and as far as I know Japanese government is now considering to make the policy loose.

>I don't think any country truly trusts another country with its future.

O.K. I think this is your honest impression and some Americans might think same way.
As the member of congress and politicians are working on the position to keep national benefits and should always consider pros and cons, it does make sense for them to think such a way. I just feel it is a bit unfortunate if we, all citizen, think such a way.

>More people: Americans are angry their traditions (and LAWS) that only LEGAL visitors and citizens can work in the United States are being broken and fought against.

Laws are fundamentals to form our daily lives, so no doubt that anyone even American or visitor must follow because U.S. is the country ruled by laws. According to the news paper, even EU(European Union) leaders in Brussels, Belgium, want thier nations to fingerprint all foreign visitors and take other new steps to keep out illegal immigrants as part of a sweeping security overhaul similar to the measure which is already implemented in U.S.

>Myself: I have lived in another country (Holland). When I moved there, it was with my understanding and dedication I wanted to be in THEIR culture and follow THEIR rules and ideas, NOT America's. Otherwise, WHY GO THERE? From the very first day I arrived, I began learning their culture, their laws, their language. I did NOT expect to be treated special, or to have my American traditions pampered. So, I do NOT like visitors or new citizens of THIS country feeling entitled to special, non-American treatment either.

Yeah, I understand what you mean. You're right. Although I am not sure about the on-going situation here in U.S., there may be people who get entitled as special or expect to be treated special.

>Masayuki, do you think the Japanese educational system is becoming more like the American system?

Of course, Ministry of Education in Japan is seeking a better way to improve educational system all the time.

Since 1950s, we, all Japanese, learned English for 6 years at school from 7th grade to 12 th grade. If we go college or university we learn English more longer, however, why most Japanese don't speak English?

Now, educational program is changed to start learning English & PC more earlier from 3rd or 4th grade and native English teacher comes to class room to teach even at public school in Japan.

Over the years Japan have been taking so much influences from U.S. not only educational system but also many things such as a business manner of operation. That's why the major company emphasize the people who aquired MBA(Master degree of business administration) from American universities. Globalization and multilateralization are always primary concerns.

Eventually, specialists in education will make Japanese education system based on various beneficial points from countries like U.S., Europe, Japan and such.

>Yes, the battles of Okinawa were some of many terrible battles. However, it is VERY difficult for me to believe that the Japanese did NOT understand that Russia would fight against Japan. Russia was part of the Allied Forces against the Axis Forces (Germany, Italy, Japan) for most of the war.


At that time in 1945, Japan and U.S.S.R are under neutrality pact which was made between Japan & U.S.S.R. in 1941 and effective for 5 years. After U.S.S.R. beat Germany, they noticed Japan in April, 1945 that they no longer extend the existing neutrality pact further, Japan didn't think U.S.S.R. would fight against Japan. That's why Japan rely on U.S.S.R. to negotiate with the Allied Forces.

On the other hand, Japan have been vulnerable for a long time at information point. Even now, Japan don't have any information security organization such as CIA in U.S.

>I think for many of those who are reading this, the fact the Japanese were - at that time - willing to kill other Japanese and themselves, is shocking news. Yes, Americans know about the Kamikaze... perhaps also the Banzai attacks... but not of the mass murders of Japanese civilians performed by the Japanese military, and the mass suicides by the Japanese - BEFORE the atomic bombs were used! This is terrible history, and very confusing to Americans.

This is terrible and true history, it may difficult to understand for you though. According to reading, these mass suicides were mandately orders from a superior officer of millitary because they think Japanese, even civilians, should suicide instead of being prisoner in case of disadvantageous situation. So, people had to be died by bomb of soldier or sometimes using poisons which were given to millitary soldiers.

This might be similar mentality of Japanese "Hara-kiri" which was done since 1600s in Japan. These are considered as graceful attitude in Japanese tradition, I don't know if it is good or bad though.

Regarding talk of "Japan, Germany and Italy", I really appriciated for your a sincere effort to explain. Sorry if what I asked you was a bithcy question.

I am always standing in neutral position, neither conservative nor radical. However, there are various kinds of people who think differently in a world anytime. Even now in Japan, there are some people who think and say at the racist point of view. I feel they insist the order of race against any other asian countries, and they sometimes envy the Americans and Europeans.
So, questions I asked you in previous mail is from thier suggestion, and I just wanted to give you some examples that there are people who think such a way.

Basically, it is O.K. because we have a freedom of thought, conscience and religion. I just wanted to think these factors by expressing concerns which may cause the serious confliction.

As I'm not historian, I'm not familiar about detailed fact. But, overall it is shame that Japanese millitary fought against U.S.S.R., America, China and so on despite the reason. As history shows, when someone who is a bigot at religiously, spritually or racially, become a leader of nation with power, it would be risky.

I might be passionate pacifist. So far we could have been in democracy world happily, so I think strongly that we need to remain somehow this situation as long as possible to next generation in a future.

>Here is an interesting piece of history for you: at one time Japan was so certain they would conquer North America, they created a new paper money for replacement use in North America as part of their plan to destroy the existing order.

Although I am not sure about new paper money, I am not surprised at things under the war.
Some Japanese report says, bad papers in U.S. dollar was made in WWII in Japan like Germany made fake bills of England pond.

Bad papers in U.S. dollar have been found in asian countries last few years and it is considered from North Korea or Iran related to dealing of weapons. This is very critical issue that effects in economy.

Thx & best regards,

Masayuki

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Masayuki,

First let me state these facts:

The United States is a very large, diverse country. There is NO SINGLE PERSON who can "represent" all Americans. I can speak only for myself, and not always with certainty! :)

I am a long-time, dedicated student of World War II, but I do not know enough to speak to all the issues of that time (even from only the American point of view).

You can trust me to say "I don't know" when I don't know.

Also, we must keep in mind the difficulties of our using different languages, and the inherent problems with translation. Misunderstandings may occur. We can only try to do our very best... which I think is what we are doing.

I am enjoying this greatly.

Okay, now on to our current conversation:

I think that a LEGALIZED citizen of a country should have ALL the rights of a NATIVE born citizen. This is only fair.

When I speak of nations distrusting each other, I am really speaking about governments. However, our governments represent us - speak for us - for better and worse - and this is what I mean.

I must also say that I believe it our human nature to NOT want to give our entire destiny over to another person or group. I believe SELF-INTEREST is a "biological imperative". GROUP-INTEREST is COLLECTIVE SELF-INTEREST. We form "alliances" as a tactic for self-interest, just like any other animal. Do you disagree?

I agree with all countries identifying ILLEGAL aliens, and, all countries MUST have a system in place for aliens to become LEGAL.

There ARE millions of ILLEGAL aliens in the U.S., and SOME DO behave as though they ARE ENTITLED to the privileges given legal citizens. I am against this entirely. It angers me. I myself have been an alien. A LEGAL alien. It was not difficult, and it was the CORRECT approach.

>Since 1950s, we, all Japanese, learned English for 6 years at school from 7th grade to 12 th grade. If we go college or university we learn English more longer, however, why most Japanese don't speak English?

Masayuki,
Are you saying most Japanese CAN speak English, but choose to not speak it, or, are you saying most Japanese study English but have not learned English well enough to speak it?

I think it is very interesting that the Japanese study the Americans about business, and the Americans study the Japanese about business. I must assume BOTH cultures are BOTH right AND wrong in their styles. These studies can only help us all.

>At that time in 1945, Japan and U.S.S.R are under neutrality pact which was made between Japan & U.S.S.R. in 1941 and effective for 5 years. After U.S.S.R. beat Germany, they noticed Japan in April, 1945 that they no longer extend the existing neutrality pact further, Japan didn't think U.S.S.R. would fight against Japan. That's why Japan rely on U.S.S.R. to negotiate with the Allied Forces.

Russia also had a "neutrality pact" with Germany! However, Russia saw Germany breaking pacts with other countries, and rightfully distrusted Germany to keep their pact. Germany had no intention of honoring promises. Yes, Russia had agreed to split conquered land with Germany. They too were greedy and opportunistic. Stalin eventually saw he was associating with the losing side and switched over to the Allies. Italy also did this. Japan observed all of this, of course. I CANNOT believe that through all of these changes, Japan continued to believe Russia would stay on the side (or neutral) of an Axis member. This is too blind and naive. "Pacts" are only words on paper - and governments operate understanding this.

Are you SURE Japan does not have an "Intelligence Gathering" force? I find this hard to believe also. We all know that every country is always busy spying on and stealing secrets of others. It is part of the "game". All countries have been CAUGHT doing it!

>According to reading, mass suicides were mandately orders from a superior officer of millitary because they think Japanese, even civilians, should suicide instead of being prisoner in case of disadvantageous situation. So, people had to be died by bomb of soldier or sometimes using poisons which were given to millitary soldiers. This might be similar mentality of Japanese "Hara-kiri" which was done since 1600s in Japan. These are considered as graceful attitude in Japanese tradition, I don't know if it is good or bad though.

I have read this, and seen actual films of Japanese killing themselves as the Allied Forces approached. The Allies attempted to distribute leaflets from airplanes explaining to the Japanese civilians they would not be harmed. It did not help the problem. THIS is an aspect of Japanese culture that Americans do not understand at all. It also seems to go against the orders of the Emporer to surrender! How can both be right?

I am glad you have mentioned the racism of the Japanese towards other peoples. Racism is not a highly intelligent point of view, but I understand why it exists. Humans SEE things before they understand them in ANY OTHER WAY. Humans are INSECURE. Humans do not like CHANGE. Humans distrust that which is DIFFERENT than themselves/their world. Racism is simply a method of categorizing unknowns. The world is complex. Categorizing is a fast method of trying to understand the world and its threats. I believe this to be a basic survival instinct.

I am NOT saying it is acceptable to remain at this basic level.

I have encountered racism in every country's history. It is not unique to Japan, the United States, Germany, or any other single country. I believe it will continue in one form or another through all of Earth's history.

Ronn.

---

Hi Ronn

>I think that a LEGALIZED citizen of a country should have ALL the rights of a NATIVE born citizen. This is only fair.

Although it is sometimes ideal, I agree with you.

In these days I read an article that immigrants who has been a permanent legal resident in U.S. , sent home country. Hospital says, "We are continuing to transfer patients who do not have coverage and can receive longterm care in their home country." At the end of an article, father of this patient concluded "He is not illegal, so why do they throw him out like that?" and "We're human beings. I think a dog would get more help here than a Hispanic." It's really hurt me and I really hope its humanity.

This is the story in Arizona, and undocumented immigrants and even some who are here legally but don't have adequate medical insurance do not qualify for state medical benefit. I just wonder if native American without medical insurance, would face in same way...

>There ARE millions of ILLEGAL aliens in the U.S., and SOME DO behave as though they ARE ENTITLED to the privileges given legal citizens. I am against this entirely. It angers me. I myself have been an alien. A LEGAL alien. It was not difficult, and it was the CORRECT approach.

Yes, I know most of Americans were initially aliens. That's is the country of U.S.

The state of Arizona, the place where I live now, is one of 4 states having border line with Mexico. I know one million illegal immigrants come over to U.S. newly every year and 80% of those are considered from Mexico. According to the survey in 2006 by U.S. Census Bureau, nearly 30% of population out of 6 million people here in Arizona are persons of hispanic or latino origins. So, this kind of illegal immigrant issues are one of primary issues in Arizona and the state allocates huge portion of budget into border patrol or fense establishment.

I wonder about U.S. political strategy related to immmigrants especially Mexians. They intensionally give the status of permanent legal residens easilly to illegal immigrants who stayed more than 5 years in U.S.

They actually have to expect them as workforces in place where most Americans don't want to do. They need a inexpensive labor but they might not want to give all the treatment which Americans recieve. At the cynical perspective, I feel contradictions about political decisions.

Anyway, there another issues in Phoenix regarding homeless people. Here, in Phoenix, is under 20+ straight days of 110 degrees or more. I know 7000 to 10000 people here and there in the valley of Phoenix, including children, are homeless who lives in shelters, in cars, in ditches and makeshift camps behind dumpsters. It may be terrible situations because no available options for cooling down.

I have ever seen middle age of female standing at the corner of street or older man along the street riding bicycle with tons of stuff. But, I have never seen homeless of hispanic people.

I don't know why...Do you have any idea? They may find out jobs somehow even row labor jobs.

>Are you saying most Japanese CAN speak English, but choose to not speak it, or, are you saying most Japanese study English but have not learned English well enough to speak it?

What I mean is most Japanese have not learned PRACTICAL English to use in a real world. We had to learn English for pass the exam and the graduation, not for use in further business scene. I know Japanese sometimes knows very difficult English terminology though...but it may be useful only for reading. Later, most Japanese works at company where they don't need to use English, and eventually forget little by little.

>I think it is very interesting that the Japanese study the Americans about business, and the Americans study the Japanese about business. I must assume BOTH cultures are BOTH right AND wrong in their styles. These studies can only help us all.

I just mentioned about such a small portion of Japanese who live and work under circumstances which require to learn at the global point of view, not applied for all Japanese.

>Russia also had a "neutrality pact" with Germany! However, Russia saw Germany breaking pacts with other countries, and rightfully distrusted Germany to keep their pact. Germany had no intention of honoring promises. Yes, Russia had agreed to split conquered land with Germany. They too were greedy and opportunistic. Stalin eventually saw he was associating with the losing side and switched over to the Allies. Italy also did this. Japan observed all of this, of course. I CANNOT believe that through all of these changes, Japan continued to believe Russia would stay on the side (or neutral) of an Axis member. This is too blind and naive. "Pacts" are only words on paper - and governments operate understanding this.

Your opinion do make sense basically. I am not sure 100% though, I think Japan was just believing U.S.S.R. at least, as long as "neutrality pact" was in effective between countries. And on the other hand, Japan relied on Swiss as well. I think they had no other available options to seek for ways of the ending-war.

>Are you SURE Japan does not have an "Intelligence Gathering" force? I find this hard to believe also. We all know that every country is always busy spying on and stealing secrets of others. It is part of the "game". All countries have been CAUGHT doing it!

As far as I know, Japan doesn't have such a organization. Exceptionally, very small group in police department is correcting informations related to extremist / terrorist issues but this is for domestic purpose. There are some conservative Japanese politicians insisting that independ nation should posses our own millitary and such a information gathering force in Japan. However, we don't have those so far.

>I have read this, and seen actual films of Japanese killing themselves as the Allied Forces approached. The Allies attempted to distribute leaflets from airplanes explaining to the Japanese civilians they would not be harmed. It did not help the problem. THIS is an aspect of Japanese culture that Americans do not understand at all. It also seems to go against the orders of the Emporer to surrender! How can both be right?

I know about flyers dropped from U.S. planes. Japanese citizens, mostly farmers in rural area, were believing that once we surrendered and sentenced in camp, we would be killed after lynch. This may be part of education they learned at school.

>I have encountered racism in every country's history. It is not unique to Japan, the United States, Germany, or any other single country. I believe it will continue in one form or another through all of Earth's history.

I have watched the films by the director Spike Lee so called "Do the right thing!!" and " Marcom X".

" I say to you today, my friends so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow,　I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream..." We memorize the famous and heart-warming speech by Dr.Martin Luther King Jr, and he was unfortunately assassinated in 1968. Racism is basically understandable, but we have spent ONLY 40 years since that time and I think it is still too early to forget about it.

Thx & best regards,

Masayuki

---

(comments to follow as we make them)

Since it was a day off, I also did my Neighborhood Block Captain duties, and walked Civic League paperwork from Point A to Point B. The local odors were sweet and nostalgic. The air was very still. Flowers had invisible scents hanging in front of them that reached me at the street. A big green Dragonfly rode shot-gun for part of my walk. The neighborhood sounds were gentle and subtle... until I reached a home where contractors were replacing soffit boards, and then it was yelling: "Move that f*****' thing!" and "Where IS the g****** thing?".

I kept walking. Eventually, it was just me and the Dragonfly again.

That moment reminded me to watch MY mouth. It's not always the right time or place to be that kind of "expressive"... Habits can be tough to break. I've got grand kids coming for a visit again fairly soon!

---

I was thinking about a moment I had with Alexandra, my grand daughter, maybe a year ago. Her family was here on a visit, and every time we went anywhere, the kids were quadruple-strapped into their car seats, of course. Mommy is fast at this... but I, with little practice, was slow and clunky. I was trying to get Alexandra all strapped in, but it seemed to me I MUST be hurting her SOMEWHERE - what with all these daggone straps and buckles everywhere - so I kept asking her "Am I hurting you?" "Is THIS okay?" She would smile and say "It's okay"... and it was a type of smile I've seldom, if ever, seen. It's stuck with me since that moment. The smile seemed to be saying:

"Poor Grampa. He's trying so hard, but he's not good at this. He sure is worrying about me. He must love me very much. I love him too."

It was a surprisingly patient, understanding smile to be on the face of a four year old.

Eventually, she and I agreed I had it. "Is this good?" I asked.

She nodded and smiled.

I nodded and smiled back.

We smiled at each other.

He was there, yes, and yet, he wasn't.

I certainly didn't know that as a boy. As children, all we know is our folks are our folks and they must certainly represent the entire world. Remember when you met a friend's parents, especially in their own home? They were alien... something was odd... they weren't right... they weren't identical to YOUR parents. It was disconcerting.

Parents hide parts of themselves and their histories from their children. Some of it is due to concerns about raising the kids and hoping for new, improved versions of Family, but some is the simple, dark feeling of shame... their shame for certain acts, behaviors, habits, and beliefs wounding periods of their lives, and, later comes your shame for not measuring up to what you fantasized you thought you wanted from them. You are not who you wished they were.

I haven't been a bio-parent, and was only an in-house step-parent for a short, difficult time. None of us were prepared for it. None the less, I think I've served as a pretty good god-father, step-uncle, and step-grandpa. I see myself as fully-fledged in those roles. I hope the "kids" (many now adults) do too. Whether they understand it or not, my step-daughters included, I stand with them now just as I always have. I love them.

My Dad "stood BY us", but I can't say stood WITH us. He was detached and elusive. He existed in the same house, had "his" favorite chair and his routines, but I can count on one hand the moments that seemed real and representative of a man who lived his own reality before and during our days as his kids. He said "I love you" ONCE to each my brother and I, and, for me, this was from a hospital bed, over the phone, across the country, when, though I did not know it, he knew he was soon to die. I was 35.

As the years pass, I've gained insights about him and parts of his life, but he died at age 61 in 1985 - which caused discoveries to quickly come to an end. My Mom's mind is slipping away, so she's not much of source for even a slanted point-of-view (but I give her credit for NOT being one of those people through their divorce phase - in fact she's the only one I have known who wasn't).

My Dad was the child victim of boozing parents who cracked under the weaknesses of their personalities and the pressures of the Great Depression. HIS Dad vanished, leaving him and his younger brother to their Mom. His "father" wasn't found until his death 30 years later. THAT is not a "reunion". Dad didn't talk about that either. His Mom was a tough bird, who drank, smoke, cussed, laughed... but Grandma loved my brother and I. The other side of the family would not associate with her. It seems to have been, in part, a "class" division, and, the more valid fear some of her behaviors might bring harm to us children. I suspect she made some of her food money during the Depression by taking in men for an hour. There are other vague stories about rumored incidents that could've ended tragically...
Ssshhhh.

It's NEVER good to leave children in dark closets.

They'll find their own torch - and light it themselves - if you don't give them the right candle.

Between Dad's illusive parents, the Great Depression, and World War II (which was just one more subject left unanswered for me), he was a man who voluntarily supplied very little perspective for his boys. And, though we picture children as perpetually curious - especially about the Powerful Parents - we children are also very accepting of their personalities as THE representatives for all of humankind... so why ask? The truth is in front of us! They are who they seem to be. They are DADDY and MOMMY.

Dad DID talk... about his troublesome cars (he refused to buy foreign), the weather, and what was on tee vee. A visit to Dad's apartment (after the divorce) was good for an hour or so before we all ran out of luke warm steam.

He seemed to enjoy hearing about what my Brother and I were doing: college life, art, awards, who we'd met, that sort of stuff. He'd wanted to be "an artist when he grew up", and I believe he lived that out through me, and within a shorter period of time, my Brother. Dad could have followed that dream - used the G.I. Bill and gone to college - but he, like every other American soldier who had somehow survived the war, was in a rush to marry, buy a home and a car, and start having babies. BOOM!

I think I understand some of that vision. I'll try to speak for him: "Life is short and fragile. It is time to create more than a painting, and let our babies start living in this world we won at such high costs."

I regret not "Knowing" him. Surely he knew much more about me. I had fewer scars, less shame, a heightened sense of self-determination and single-minded goals. His first 20 years were mostly Hell. Mine were much easier. My folks made my first twenty as close to their version of "Heaven" as they could imagine and concoct.

Dad drove away in the morning, came home at night, paid the bills, and took care of the outside of the house and yard. Mom raised the boys, cleaned the inside of the house, and cooked the food. At the time when we needed them the most, we were suddenly uprooted from our Home (meaning everything and everyone we loved - forced to leave it and them behind), and they took us to a strange land. Then, they both went off to work... which only escalated every dark scenario to rise from our latch-key teen years. They were out of touch with us, whereas they thought we were doing okay - that we'd be fine flying solo for the day and some of the evenings.

They needed the money and this is what they felt they had to do. Much of that money was aimed at us for upcoming college years. I'm not here to condemn them for being absent. If anything, it was a loving, hard-working parental act, and Mom forfeited that which she received by being a stay-at-home Mother. I now understand why they were both shocked, and Mom quite upset, when I called them from college with my decision that their financial help was hurting my growth as an adult and an artist. I told them "Thank you, but please, no more." Mom cried. Dad, well, he was quiet as usual, but I think he saw it in male terms - and had a more accepting view of this "rejection".

I have to admit, here, and for the first time, that even though I, by my own choice, was dirt poor in through college - for years often scared to the point of panic about surviving from week to week, yet remaining dedicated to maturing as much and as fast as possible - I called them a couple times to ask for a few bucks, so they could feel helpful again. It helped alleviate their worries over me.

I began to appreciate their side of things.

In the oddest, whiplash, backdoor sort of way, I learned much of this because of my Dad.

Happy Father, Step-Father, Father-Figure, Older-Adult, Male-Mentor Day to everyone who deserves it.

Ronn.

A couple things we whipped around awhile were:

Whether the web has actually affected/added any DEPTH of cultural change, or, it simply makes the small, here-today-gone-tomorrow blips on the screen accessible to more people.

Just because something happens faster doesn't mean it's dependent upon speed to exist. Same with distance. We may believe we close perceived "distances" faster due to the web, but I am not convinced of this. I may find someone much faster due to search engines than letters, but once found - for an example, a friend from the past - nothing is solved through technology. It's still up to the two you in the here and now. You exchange your pasts, catch up on personal news, and then...

...you often find yourselves stalled in that awkward "Well, what now?" If so, you'll phase into retreat again. There was a reason the two of you faded. Your time with each other had passed. It's like most exchanges at a High-School reunion.

There were Reasons you didn't stay

In Touch.

Moving larger quantities of words and pictures around faster and broader is not what gives us what we seek, aside from entertainment or business efforts. Being human means we need modes having nothing to do with what the web offers just because it's "The Web".

The Web, like the Post Office, is a big screwdriver, that's all.

With a screwdriver, you can let it sit, construct something new and useful or new and useless, or, merely tighten old screws back into their old places.

The first night:

With my wife, I watched it as a potentially interesting film I'd been wanting to see, and I thought it was really good... but over the next 24 hours it stuck with me in an odd way that felt deeply personal. I then realized it was, with only slight changes in the story, MY story at the same age (of 22-23). So, under those circumstances, I wanted to view it again.

Don't get me wrong. This is NOT my story, but an overwhelming number of the larger issues - intellectually, emotionally, and in its process - are near identical... which sort of freaked me out.

I wrote about this in my journal as "He / Me". I wondered if most humans have and do face the same general Life Challenges... and at approximately the same age (at least in our culture):

- Trying to clarify what Family did to and for you
- The need for Independence
- The struggle for Identity
- The defensiveness of Uncertainty
- The search for Heroes
- The goal of an "Ultimate" Challenge
- Facing Perceived Threats
- Diving off The High Board into The Dark towards a Pool that may or may not have a Solution

and perhaps finally,

- Realizing that Independence, Freedom, and Creativity are found within Constraits, AND, Survival, Satisfaction, and Happiness are not found in Isolation.

Whereas he found the answer but (some people would say) it was too late to be put it to use, I feel I found it just in the nick of time, and here I am - better off because of it.

IS this a common experience?

---

(The following transcription is from my journal and a good example of one way I personally use Art (in this case the film "Into the Wild") for my own thought processes and (hopefully) my growth. I compared him to me:)

He/Me:

Bright enough, did fine as a student

"

Always rebelled in small, blatant ways

"

Was pessimistic about masses of people/society

"

Played many of the games, but saw the hypocricy

"

Finally left it behind - HE vanished

I didn't vanish

Worked odd jobs, aiming at Alaska

I worked odd jobs, aimed at Holland

Saw self-sufficiency as the only reliable state of existence

" , along with a SELF-created family

Read a lot, referred often to writers, artists, philosophers, etc. as guides

"

Self-destructive, with on-the-edge behaviors

" , but to a less intense degree

Focused, did what he said he'd do

"

Overly romantic viewpoints

"

Unprepared for a difficult, foreign life

"

Alien, isolated, lonely, confused

"

Let health slip away

"

Became very ill

"

Didn't get out of Alaska

" , I wisely returned to family, friends, and healthier realizations

He and I came to the realization that being alone is NOT the ideal state of existence. "HAPPINESS IS SHARING".

---

There was an undercurrent of problems in the family. There was a younger sibling. Everyone in the family was self-righteous and defensive.

There were fears of water but risks were taken with it (and mountain climbing, hitch hiking, etc...)

Writing was used, loved, and seen as a way of leaving a "mark" in both time and place, literally and symbolically. People were attracted to him and his self-confidence."

The second night:

"I watched 'Into the Wild' again. I watched it as a version of my life story at that same age... and with slight adjustments to the sequence of some events, changing a few small points and one especially large one, there I was!

The BIG Difference: I DID have attachments, and KNEW I needed them (even more so by the end of Holland), and I DID get out of my situation.

THIS was it. He and I realized the same thing... but I saw a glimmer of the fact I was not trapped beyond the point of options. If anything, I had more foresight and was less death-wishy by having created and kept an option. I survived because of that.

I survived because I had goals that reached through my 20's and my imagined life time. I survived because of those."

(And now I add:)

"I survived because I KNEW I had family and friends who loved me, whether or not I succeeded in my current efforts. This knowledge battled with my ego and desire to succeed, and only my increasing illness could point that out. It was the first time in my adult life I HAD to shove my ego out of the way and admit to a kind of defeat...though in other ways, I actually won, and won more.

We never completely lose - and we often win more - if we learn from our mistakes."

Rembrandt's etchings taught me, as a young artist, how to find the joy in serious work. In HIS first days of etching, while still learning the complex technical issues of printmaking, his work was clunky - it lacked finesse. An artist with less security, openness, and honesty would've DESTROYED these works. Matisse did. Remmy did not. Rembrandt left them for US - for me - intentionally - so I too could SEE we all start at the beginning - no one is a genius from Day One. We CULTIVATE genius. Genius comes from the relentless, everyday, blood and sweat of hard work. Genius is not a "Gift". It helped me through ten and half years of college study in Printmaking. All of my degrees are based in Etching. Rembrandt is The Man.

His images cluster into three categories:

- Serious, biblical (etc.) narratives made for sale and repute,

- Portrait commissions to commemorate great people (or people who wanted to be thought of as great),

- His real loves - common people, everyday events, the land, the sky, the people in his life, and the joy of drawing and printmaking.

For the last 40 years, it's the last category that causes me to stare, study, ponder, and shake my head in amazement at what he did, how he did it, and his utter abandon of the commercial world of his day. You hear the name "REMBRANDT" and you think "Classic Old Master". Well... yes, and no. He also broke nearly every rule of art, and was no less upsetting in his time than "WARHOL" in his. However, unlike Warhol, Rembrandt died in poverty. His innovations took him further and further away from the conventions of his time - and conventions are funded by the wealthy - and the wealthy give lip service to innovation - demanding the innovations stop when they hire an innovator to do work for THEM.

Rembrandt has something to teach everyone. I've hardly scratched the surface.*

Ronn.

*So to speak - a little Printmaking joke, there.

I worked on my web site as usual, and cleaned out some files. I spoke with a friend on the phone, and made tentative plans to meet him later in the day.

My wife was out of town at a national kitchen design meeting. If I recall correctly, she's not only a member but the secretary. She's claiming to no longer be a board member of her church, but she's gone to their meetings a lot also. Then there are her evening Scrabble competitions with wordy women on their rotating home schedule, the neighborhood Garden Club, secretary of the Civic League, etc....

She's a Group type. I am a One-on-One type, except for a closed-group newsletter I run. Even then, it's not like my group is in the same room, gives equal input, or has an agreed upon single goal.

I don't know what makes one person a groupie and another the solo flier type.

When I watch birds - which is something I did a lot as a child, and revived when we moved into our 1950's split-level, glass-walled home - I noticed this was one of the big differences in species.

Starlings are like individual cells of one brain, whether in the air, in a tree, or on the ground. Considering their massive numbers, it clearly works for them. They move with a sense of Group E.S.P.

Crows travel solo or with one of two other Crows. It's very rare to see a flock of them, and I can only assume that when they've flocked-up it's for a temporary and very good reason. Each Crow moves with its brain working independent of the other(s). Considering their large numbers also, it clearly works for THEM.

Maybe the larger picture is that one type balances the other type, and an even larger purpose is maintained... some sort of stability reached through divisions of behavior.

I don't know.

Yesterday, as I left for work, I opened the front door, and there on the grass sat three handsome male Mallard ducks, taking a mid-morning coffee break in their tan, brown, black, white, cobalt blue, and emerald green suits. I said "Mornin'" and walked past them with the stuff I take to MY office.

If I move casually, most of the animals in our neighborhood don't bolt - Ducks, Geese, Rabbits, Doves, Crows. They're not stupid - they do keep one eye on me, but that's all. Starlings are more skittish, as are Squirrels, Mocking birds, Cardinals, and Robins. Foxes are very skittish, as are all those tiny birds who seem to move like strobe lights. Opossums and Raccoons work at night, and seem very focused on their moving from point A to point B. Neighbors say they've spotted a couple "Tree Rats" over the last few years (the balance of nature was disturbed after Hurricane Isabel), but I've seen only one - dead on the road outside of our neighborhood. I have seen an Owl (but heard more - they're quite secretive) and a few Hawks (especially during the Rabbit birthing season. Nature is Tough). The Starlings are currently on nests, so they're Double Crazy Defensive right now. I assume the Red Winged Blackbirds and lots of others are also busy with that, but I haven't seen the evidence.

On the road, I saw two serious multi-Humanoid accidents, with lots of accident residue, and the always-present, slow-moving Southern Rubber Neckers. Many of the Dodo bird-brains flying at high speed in single direction were not keeping any flockin' order with movement signals or similar speeds.

Without a doubt, they are the least rational, dumbest, most disorganized, hard-headed species on this planet. Humanoids are doomed. It's sad. They're otherwise pretty interesting.

His cleaning man had wandered off, leaving it in this state.

I left the boss to his business, and later he caught back up to me. He was shaking his head, and said "You'll never believe this one!"

"I searched the building... and I found him. He was in the bathroom. A buddy of his dropped by for a visit. While he was cleaning the lounger, they decided he needed to take a break, so he just walked away from the chair, leaving it as we found it. He and his buddy were sitting on the men's bathroom floor - tossing dice - for money...

I jumped down his throat, and told him he'd better get the chair fixed."

I asked "Gonna fire him?"

Boss shook his head and laughed: "HE - THIS guy - is my BEST employee!! My BEST!!! What am I supposed to DO???!!!"

I started laughing because he was laughing, but this wasn't funny-funny, it was pathetic-funny. Laugh or cry funny.

I said, "Sometimes I think I'd like to have my business up to this size, but maintain the FUTURES quality. You remind me THAT is impossible."

They are contradictions.

We both laughed... because we didn't want to cry in public.

~

when I think it's possible someone might misunderstand and get insulted.

I send this idea into the Web every so often. I'm actually interested in it becoming widely used for this purpose. It could save lives, marriages, friendships. Or have you never been misunderstood in this keyboard world we now exist? Hmm... come to think of it, you may not even know you've been misunderstood. Has someone been absent in your life for quite some time?

Ronn.

Much of the writing is about his love of and battle with what he considered the aspects of Nature ... the weather, landscape, the natives, animals, deprivation, exertion, etc., and "kill or be killed". Since his life is so incredibly well documented, it's been pretty easy for his biographers (at least of the 20th century) to separate myth from fact. (Earlier writers and publishers had too much money to make from romanticizing or degrading him. Boone was, for lack of a better term, a Pop Star during his life ... in the Jacques Cousteau or Neil Armstrong vein, I'd say. Still, no doubt like Cousteau, deep down his love was Nature not hype.

Sometimes he seems to have almost sought spotlights, yet was always in debt or being sued for various valid and ridiculous reasons, which all came about while he and his family lived a more "social" life with other people in the vicinity. This then would cause so much stress in him, that they'd move deeper into the West - the forest - the mountains - Indian territory. There, though the dangers were at times greater, it was danger he understood and accepted. The various tribes seemed to better understand him - and he WAS equally famous with them but more respected perhaps. He was revered for his intense talents in the wild. The Indians often failed to catch him on their lands, but when they did, they never seriously hurt him. They were in awe of his survival insights, which were even more amazing since he came from those "clumsy, greedy white men".

Most whites, when taken, were either absorbed as family members into their tribe (and a high rate of whites did stay voluntarily, men for the most part, finding they preferred the Indian life style), or, if they were not cooperative, they were tortured and killed.

At first, that sounded bizarre to me, until I reversed the situation, and saw that if the whites took on an Indian or Black, they too were expected to perform a fast assimilation, or, being dead weight to the group, be eliminated, not released. Basically, everyone in the wilderness behaved similarly.

Boone lived to be an old man, which was rare then, especially for someone living the life of a pioneer... and he INSISTED upon himself and his family REMAINING pioneers. It was only towards the end of his life that he seems to have even had a glimmer of the thought that he, Daniel Boone, had not only played a huge role in exploration of the New World, but literally carved the paths for others to follow... which meant follow Him...which caused both the
destruction of his isolated life and the ruin of the land he loved so much. This irony was lost to his love of adventure and desire for the peace of nature.

Of course, during those decades, the West seemed unlimited, and rumors of the Pacific border seemed centuries of consumption away. No one foresaw the massive floods of eastern immigrants or the immense fortunes to be made with land speculation. Most of the land was yet to be "owned" by the young United States. It was British, Spanish, and French.... and, oh yes, Indian.

Anyhow, a wasp starting hovering around me, but after slugging it in mid-air 10 times yet it still kept returning, I announced "I ain't Daniel Boone" and went inside. Damned Nature.

PS: The phrase "Give me some elbow room!" came from Boone.