I found MY limit with caffeine during the years friends and I EXISTED at a coffee shop. EXISTED. Driving home down the highway late one night in my fast, sleek, orange Datsun 240Z - (up to and over 100 miles per hour on that road at that time of night) - with its round, shark-stare headlights burning away the dark for the necessary split second - I began hallucinating.

That night, between me and Dan - a best friend - we'd shared EIGHT entire POTS of coffee over about a four HOUR period (for the grand total of 25 cents per customer drink-all-the-java-you-want - god I LOVED IHOP in those daze...), and, with us chatting at speeds to match the car, a 20 foot high, blindingly brilliant lime green, flaming, pulsating DONUT appeared floating over the road 100 feet in front of me.

Yep. That's what it was alright.

Picture one of those flaming rings-of-fire through which circus lion tamers force their big cats to leap ... but this LSD-ish DONUT was way bigger and thicker... and even brighter.

Well now......... THIS was interesting...

I kept quiet, and slowly eased off the gas pedal. Yep, it stayed ahead of me. This was GOOD... I wasn't going to smash into it. But, the problem was I could NOT see around it... so I continued easing off the gas... and slowly pulled over to the shoulder of the highway. The DONUT did not go away.

"What're ya doin'?" asked Dan.

"I want you to drive the rest of the way." (He also had a 240Z, so I trusted him.)

(BTW: A little advice: the following is something you announce once the car is PARKED):

"Why?"

"I'm hallucinating."

"What??!!"

"There's a huge flaming green DONUT in front of me..."

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Naturally, he agreed to take over.

It was just another evening of being 23.

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Not to exclude Dan and HIS Road-Hallucination experiences...

He was driving straight through from New York to Denver (which makes my 888 mile Tucson-to-Denver straight-throughs look like an ice cream cruise). I don't remember if it was a combo meal of No-Doz AND coffee or what, but at some point in the middle of the night, as he sped down the highway of Missouri or Kansas or godknowswhere, he saw a Giant - a Huge Giant Man - running along-side his car. The Giant kept pace with his car.

Here's the BEAUTY of being out of your skull: Your ability to adjust is incredible. Dan decided this Giant would help guide his drive, keep him company, and hey, if he had a flat tire or something, there would be a very useful helper with him.

I get all warm and fuzzy just thinking about it.

Pass the coffee and donuts.