Two nights in a row I watched the film "Into the Wild" - the true story of a young man who thought he should and could live alone in the wilderness of Alaska.

The first night:

With my wife, I watched it as a potentially interesting film I'd been wanting to see, and I did think it was really good... but over the next 24 hours it stuck to me in an odd, deeply personal way. I realized it was, with only slight changes, MY story at the same age (of 22-23). So, under those circumstances, I wanted to view it again.

Don't get me wrong. "Into the Wilderness" is NOT my story, but an overwhelming number of the larger issues - intellectual, emotional, and in its process - are near identical... which sort of freaked me out.

I wrote about this in my journal as "He / Me". I wondered if most humans have and do face the same general Life Challenges... (and at approximately the same age - at least in our culture):

- Trying to clarify what Family did to and for you
- The need for Independence
- The struggle for Identity
- The defensiveness of Uncertainty
- The search for Heroes
- The goal of an "Ultimate" Challenge
- Facing Perceived Threats
- Diving off The High Board into The Dark towards a Pool that may or may not have a Solution

and perhaps finally,

- Realizing that Independence, Freedom, and Creativity are found within Constraits, AND, Survival, Satisfaction, and Happiness are not found in Isolation.

Whereas he found the answer but (some people would say) too late to be put it to use, I found it in the nick of time, and so, here I am - better off because of it.

IS this a common experience?

---

(The following transcription is from my journal and a good example of one way I personally use Art (in this case the film "Into the Wild") for my own thought processes and (hopefully) my growth. I compared him to me:)

He/Me:

Bright enough, did fine as a student

"

Always rebelled in small, blatant ways

"

Was pessimistic about masses of people/society

"

Played many of the games, but saw the hypocricy

"

Finally left it behind - HE vanished

I didn't vanish

Worked odd jobs, aiming at Alaska

I worked odd jobs, aimed at Holland

Saw self-sufficiency as the only reliable state of existence

" , along with a SELF-created family

Read a lot, referred often to writers, artists, philosophers, etc. as guides

"

Self-destructive, with on-the-edge behaviors

" , but to a less intense degree

Focused, did what he said he'd do

"

Overly romantic viewpoints

"

Unprepared for a difficult, foreign life

"

Alien, isolated, lonely, confused

"

Let health slip away

"

Became very ill

"

Didn't get out of Alaska

" , I wisely returned to family, friends, and healthier realizations

We each came to the realization that being alone is NOT the ideal state of existence. "HAPPINESS IS SHARING".

---

There was an undercurrent of problems in the family. There was a younger sibling. Everyone in the family was self-righteous and defensive.

There were fears of water but risks were taken with it (and mountain climbing, hitch hiking, etc...)

Writing was used, loved, and seen as a way of leaving a "mark" in both time and place, literally and symbolically. People were attracted to him and his self-confidence."

The second night:

"I watched 'Into the Wild' again. I watched it as a version of my life story at that same age... and with slight adjustments to the sequence of some events, changing a few small points and one especially large one, there I was!

The BIG Difference: I DID have attachments, and KNEW I needed them (even more so by the end of Holland), and I DID escape the situation.

THIS was it. He and I realized the same thing... but I saw a glimmer of the fact I was not trapped beyond the point of options. If anything, I had more foresight and was less death-wishy by having created and kept an option. I survived because of that.

I survived because I had goals that reached through my 20's and my imagined life time. I survived because of those."

(And now I add:)

"I survived because I KNEW I had family and friends who loved me, whether or not I succeeded in my current efforts. This knowledge battled with my ego and desire to succeed, and only my increasing illness could point that out. It was the first time in my adult life I HAD to shove my ego out of the way and admit to a kind of defeat...though in other ways, I actually won - and won more.

We never completely lose - and we often win - if we learn from our mistakes."