Nature Report

Yesterday, as I left for work, I opened the front door, and there on the grass sat three handsome male Mallard ducks, taking a mid-morning coffee break in their tan, brown, black, white, cobalt blue, and emerald green suits. I said "Mornin'" and walked past them with the stuff I take to MY office.

If I move casually, most of the animals in our neighborhood don't bolt - Ducks, Geese, Rabbits, Doves, Crows. They're not stupid - they do keep one eye on me, but that's all. Starlings are more skittish, as are Squirrels, Mocking birds, Cardinals, and Robins. Foxes are very skittish, as are all those tiny birds who seem to move like strobe lights. Opossums and Raccoons work at night, and seem very focused on their moving from point A to point B. Neighbors say they've spotted a couple "Tree Rats" over the last few years (the balance of nature was disturbed after Hurricane Isabel), but I've seen only one - dead on the road outside of our neighborhood. I have seen an Owl (but heard more - they're quite secretive) and a few Hawks (especially during the Rabbit birthing season. Nature is Tough). The Starlings are currently on nests, so they're Double Crazy Defensive right now. I assume the Red Winged Blackbirds and lots of others are also busy with that, but I haven't seen the evidence.

On the road, I saw two serious multi-Humanoid accidents, with lots of accident residue, and the always-present, slow-moving Southern Rubber Neckers. Many of the Dodo bird-brains flying at high speed in single direction were not keeping any flockin' order with movement signals or similar speeds.

Without a doubt, they are the least rational, dumbest, most disorganized, hard-headed species on this planet. Humanoids are doomed. It's sad. They're otherwise pretty interesting.