Saturday. Up at 6:30 agh.m., to auctions by 7:45 a.m., only to move from one to the next in a series of bids and absentee forms until 10:30 a.m., when I opened the store for the day. "I'll open early!" Instead, someone "keyed" the side of my almost brand new Scion xB.

I've said before that the singer/writer/musician Jimmy Spheeris (early 70's) was one of the most talented of those making beautiful music during that era. He was also innovative, but I'm mainly struck by the Beauty of his recordings. (Everyone I exposed to his work at that time felt the same. I was in the unique position of being one of the three or four people at KCSU radio to stumble onto his first album in the huge, weekly, anonymous stack of promotional vinyl sent unendingly to us from every company in the U.S.. We LOVED this album "Isle of View", and we made sure EVERYONE got the chance to hear him... sometimes both sides of that record twice in one evening.)

Anyhow, he's on the stereo here in FUTURES today. I never tire of (most of) his music, and as I listened, my thoughts began pushing outward as my feelings were re-exposed... which IS what his music does to me. None of us can always separate our memories from our attraction to (and feelings about) certain music and other sensibilities that became microscopically ingrained... and I mean exactly that... feelings and thoughts completely tangled together in a briar bush of internal evidence. It is our evidence of having lived in a place at a time with certain beliefs, fears, and hopes we shared with others who held some of the same visions. The rarest music is that which becomes a personal anthem during the passage of inevitable mile markers.

So I was thinking over these old ideas, but remembering when I recently introduced my younger pal James to Jimmy. James had very little response... and THAT amazed me. Wait! How? Huh?What? Beauty is beauty whether you were at its birth or not, right? I don't need to have been alive in 1940 to know that Gene Tierney was an incredibly beautiful woman.

Then I cracked open another drawer full of my thoughts that have seen light only on rare occasion. They're in the Depression Drawer.

It's not a place that scares me, but I don't need to go there a lot anymore. It's not that those of us with real Depression go out HUNTING for things about which to be Depressed - THAT is NO CHALLENGE! - duh - but when things ARE encountered that somehow harmonize with this condition, they create a "relationship" made of beliefs and emotions that both substantiate your thoughts and feelings, yet soothe them. They are links from your inner to someone else's outer, and because of that, you are not alone. You are not isolated - you are not the only person with such feelings and thoughts - you do not have the claim to uniqueness...

...which is NOT a bad thing when you find yourself thinking ALL - including the Self - at least the Content Self - is lost and abandoned.

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Just another thought about a lousy disease no one wants.