I feel so FRESH and renewed now! Why IS that? I just don't know...

OH! WAIT!! It's because it's a Brand New Year !!!

Happy New Year to One and All! May this be the year you win many lotteries (not mine); you are promoted by a boss who sees all your talents and would rather die than do without you; you are so adored by others you feel the need to go into seclusion once in a while; you are so healthy you could run ALL the marathons but choose to skip 'em because it's just no challenge; you become a good, no, a great driver and inspire everyone else on the road to cease being an idiot; you improve within your field to such a degree you are given trophies and ceremonies; you grow more hair where you want it and less where you don't; your best childhood pals move onto your block again; your Civic League suddenly gains insight into your exquisite concepts of "natural yard"; you read all the books assigned you in school so your teachers can finally Rest in Peace (you DID know they can't go to Heaven until you do this, right?); you give every item you don't need to someone who does and they write letters of thanks to you for the rest of your life; you support old people and their dreams by visiting FUTURES Antiques; you see many sunrises this year because you were up late and didn't feel the least need to rest; your pets wait patiently but anxiously for you in the Beyond; you get a surprise email once a week from someone you thought had long ago vanished; you receive birthday cards galore because no one forgot; someone overhears your brainstorming with a friend, and THIS time your *brilliance* is put into PRODUCTION - making you the next Donald Trump (without the "look", ego, or tackiness); YOU are suddenly "The Style" everyone finds ultra-attractive and yet they leave you alone - staring in awe only from a distance; the restaurant servers tip YOU when you eat at their establishments; a rare and beautiful bird lands upon your shoulder, becomes your best animal friend, speaks English, and never craps on your shirt; the movie "Bambi" is renamed after you - and no one questions it; a Warhol portrait is found in an attic and it's of YOU; you end up caught in a crowd and find yourself on "The Price is Right" picked as a contestant and you think the whole thing is silly but you go along with it - only to win every damned thing they had on stage behind every door and all the stuff listed on the big spinning wheel;

and...

uh...

I think that's enough.

Happy New Year.