Our neighborhood has a lot of those crazy, lighted, inflatable Xmas yard "ornament-display" things. I love wacky holiday folk art, but in the morning, when all of those things have been shut down and deflated, the entire neighborhood looks like it's covered in giant, used condoms.

THE SHORTEST HISTORY OF THE ALUMINUM XMAS TREE

MY "plan" today is to get at least one of four aluminum Xmas trees up and in front of our living room glass. Aluminum tree display has a tradition, which includes making them visible to neighbors. It may have begun as a status thing mixed with adding night decor to the block.

"Ooh, THEIRS Rotates ! I wish ours did !!"

In 1965, my folks bought a de-luxe model. It was seven feet tall and stabbed thick with sparkling branches exploding in spraying, atomic pon-pom tips - a luxurious silver symbol of a Modern-Minded Holiday Tradition. Oh, but that's not all! Our tree sat in a motorized stand which slowly rotated it, AND, we had the rotating, four-color projector light... shifting the intense night color of the dancing Pyramid of Metal.

Red... Redgreen... Green... Greenblue... Blue... Bluegold... Gold... Goldred... Red...

It was Mezmerizing...

THE DEATH OF ALUMINUM XMAS TREES

I remember when the projector color wheels (red * green * blue * gold) fell out of fashion (you CANNOT hang electric lights on a metal tree) and people began shining a single color light on the silver trees, or buying the new COLORED aluminum trees. Then, never satisfied, they shifted to white flocked trees, with one fashionable color of matching ornaments. From there, the rest is current history - hanging electric lights on a non-metal tree, especially the
accursed, relentlessly over-used, Tiny White Lights - which brought the final death blow to the glory of aluminum trees.

Fashion Kills.

Well, I inherited our family tree. It is full of sparkle, twirl, color, and tradition... every year... on display in the front window... to the confusion of the style conscious adults in the neighborhood. Kids don't wonder... they see it... and love it.

So, on a good year, my wife Pat, and I will manage to get FIVE trees up. She does the PINE, with 1950's bubble lights and all of our family tradition ornaments, and I do four aluminums - the matronly de-luxe family tree, a glorious, large, all-aqua; a little table-top all aqua version; and a little Russian table-top 2-tone aqua and silver.

Adagio Glorioso Aluminati !!!

(See the last shot on page 8, and all on page nine of "Homes & Decor of FUTURES Customers & Friends" for what I'm up to this holidaze see's 'em.)