Last night, my wife took me out for dinner (it was my birthday), and we stopped in "Border's Books" (and Music, and Films) afterwards. Candy Store time!! I picked out my presents. Talk about exciting! She actually gave me a higher limit, but I felt satisfied and happy with my choices, and was ready to go home... so, we got in line to pay for the gifts...

Now...at the BORDER'S checkout station, they clearly delineate the line-up zone, and the cash register zone. It is to give people with credit cards, etc. a little breathing room and privacy. I get it. So do you. Most people do. However...

You may not live on a coast, and may not have any people like this where you live, but around here (on the U.S. mid-Atlantic coast) there is a phony surfer culture that pretends Virginia Beach is Hawaii or Australia, and the little laps of water that reach our sand are monster 90' mountains of gnarly water with bitchin' tubes just waitin' for you to shoot the curl. It's pretty sad.

So this Dude, tanning booth burnt to leather, looking 70 years old but was probably 50, with his six month old hair bleach supposed to appear sun-drenched all winter long, decked in his funky floral shirt, shorts, & flip flops was ahead of us. Dime a dozen. Jimmy Buffet Parrothead type.

I didn't notice him yet, except he was clueless about the waiting line zone, and wandered aimlessly within the cash register/privacy zone. Yeh, he's smoked dope for the last 35 years, lacks brain cells, and, like I said... Dime a Dozen.

When it WAS his turn to complete his transaction in the register zone, he was called up by the check out woman standing there. He, being the genius he was, walked up to the wrong cash register where NO ONE stood waiting for him. And, even after the woman reached over to him, brought his items over to HER scanner, and CONTINUED dealing with him "over there", he still didn't catch on. He stayed in his PREDETERMINED wrong place.

Alright, she finished up with him. By now I'm fascinated and hanging onto this moment. She bagged his stuff, and said:

"Have a good evening."

And he said:

"You're welcome."

Genius. I'm sure he sees big waves, lots of bitchin' chix, gets far-out with his tokes, still wishes he had a woody, and dreams of the day his Hangin' Ten isn't on the sand.

"Far out!! My social security check got here today! Awesome!"