Yesterday I had a Klassick Olde Skool collector/barterer in the shop.

Here's what they do:

1. Start friendly. ("Hey, How's it GOING? Great! Mind if I look around??!")

2. Get quiet. ("......").

3. Look for long periods at what interests them. ("Oh man! I can't believe he HAS one of these!")

4. Start degrading those items, the shop, the owner. "I guess you haven't been at this very long?" "I've never noticed your store before." "No one's ever told me you were here, and I get around!" "You're never open". (Yes, they're now tripping over their own routines.) "Is this thing in your showcase a fake, is it chipped?" "Yeh, I got hundreds of 'em." "How long have you HAD this thing?" "You've probably heard of me. I'm X, who collects Z." "I know everyone." "That's a common item."

5. Think they've set the stage. ("Now's the time. I've got him weak. He's reeling with my insight and power. Hit him with a low ball offer!")

6. Put on the most casual air they can muster.

"Well, even though I have PLENTY of these, and THIS one's COMMON and CHIPPED, what will it cost me to take if OFF YOUR HANDS?"

Mind you, I haven't bothered with eye contact or other responses acknowledging their tired old routines. I've been too busy with more important things, apparently. No one gets a rise out of me with that crap. Yadda yadda yadda. However, NOW Ye Olde Quest-ion has been put on my desk.

"Well, I've been at 15 years, in this location for 13, I've been open 7 days a week for the last two months, and otherwise I am here 5 days a week..." (Let that hang there now...until they respond.)

"....Oh. Well, I guess I've just missed you..."

(Standard dodge. Nothing brilliant happening here.)

"Uh huh.... I'm afraid I haven't heard of you, but I'm so cloistered in this world of mine, it's no wonder. As far as ALL of my things go, NONE are fakes, and I often give away chipped items. Can you tell me why you say it's a fake, and where you see a chip? I seem to have missed it..."

"I have a lot of books, and I read somewhere once..." (Can you see me sighing?) "..that there were fakes of this made and I think that the light color spot is a chip...."

"What book was it you read? And no, the light spot is part of the glaze design. In fact, the spottier glazes are more desirable. You said you collect this stuff?" (S/he didn't say that exactly, but... JAB.)

"Yeh, I collect some of it. I don't remember the name of the book, though, & I didn't know this glaze was rarer..."

(The Ye Olde Bargainer is on the ropes now...)

"Much rarer. Worth twice as much. I'm surprised you didn't know that. I guess you don't have a couple of the books I own, or you just missed that part. Do you own the Smith book on it?"

"Uh, no...I don't."

"Here's what it looks like, in case you ever want to pick it up." (Pull it off the shelf, display it in a helpful manner.) "As far the price of my item goes, it's underpriced, perfect, and I'll stick to the price I have on it... since I price my things so larger city dealers can visit and make a living with me also... but thanks for bringing it up. I like being able to help people learn more about what they're trying to collect." JAB JABJAB JABJABHJAB.

"... Oh. Uh. Okay, sure. No problem."

Look folks, just walk in, enjoy the visit (this ISN'T a poker game), be nice, be honest, show your enthusiasm, and if you're on a budget (not just out for the "sport" of bartering), ask if there's any chance the price could come down even a little, and thank them whether the answer is yes, or no. Why be nasty? Instead, be unique AND welcomed back next time.