Did you just say "Huge Mass Turd Cart"?

My wife took me to my mechanic to pick up my lousy FORD van, which was in for ANOTHER series of Sanford & Son patches. I handed him my MasterCard. I never have that kind of cash. Duh. No wads of bread dough on this man. No Upper Crust Loafer here.

I've had this MasterCard for YEARS. Their fees are high, but I'm a Pathetic Creature of Habit. Suddenly, it comes back "D E C L I N E D".

Huh uh. No way. No way!

He tries again. Same message. I don't have my checkbook with me. I expected nothing like this. He says "Go home. Call them. Clear it up from there. Call me when it is ready to go."

"Okay. Thanks."

I called the card's "service center". By my experience today, I'd say it's midnight there, and monkeys are sleeping peacefully in the palm trees just outside of the screened windows of the local MasterCard hut complex.

After much difficulty communicating with and answering the "privacy/verification" questions, I THOUGHT I had the woman with the heavy East Indian accent in sync. She said "Jes", she saw "dis" attempted charge on her computer, which was "declined" because it was "above" the norm (MY words here) for my average charge. "Fine." "Eet iss fix-ed now. Kin I hep yu wit inny ting el-ess?" "No thank you. Are you certain it is fixed?" "Oh yezsir eet iss." "Thank you. Goodbye."

It wasn't fix-ed.

Three hours pass. I made numerous attempts to get through the menus, only to finally reach other East Indian DRONES with accents so heavy I can't understand half of what they're saying, and, no doubt, they don't understand me. They read off a long list of "personal verification" questions that - you'll think I'm joking here, but DO I SOUND LIKE I'M F'ING JOKING????????????? - go back more than 30 (THIRTY) years in my history.

After "Eh, wat bonk hild de lo-an on yaw pweviss hom?" (26 years ago), I snapped. "You expect me to remember THAT?! (IF I understand what you're asking!) You NUTS!??"

Of course, she didn't understand my meaning of "NUTS". Perhaps I was referring to that which she plucked from the trees outside the second story screened window of her rattan cubicle, as a luncheon snack...

After three of these incompetents, I stopped this one, and said, "Connect me to your manager. NOW." She understood these words. NOT the first time she's heard it, perhaps?

"Doz Umirikans dey minny mush not nice peepho!"

"NOW" means 15 minutes on Hold. I guess they showed ME! Finally, I got a "manager". Within two words I hear the same accent. I said "Before we start, I need to know if English is your primary language."

"Yays zshir, eet iss!"

"Really? It does not SOUND like it."

"Zshir, Iy hap bean tolt yoo dun wan to ahnsir dee kweshuns ob dee uhssistin."

"It's clear we will not communicate, and you lied to me about your primary language."

I hung up.

I got back on the phone with my mechanic, who would LIKE to be paid. "Try sequential, smaller amounts." It was no-go. MasterCard has frozen my account entirely, due to their mistake and inability to fix it, let alone understand it.

This must get fixed, if only to clear it up before I dump them. I get junk mail every day asking me to join another company instead. I will. Not before I send Master Card a few thoughts, which they will, of course, dismiss quite easily.

WHAT does THIS have to do with Design? It's about Good Design vs Money. Greed has driven MasterCard to hire people outside of this country, who cannot properly communicate with MasterCard's customers & are willing to work for Less Money, at the expense of the quality of the System. MC's System is badly Designed. It fails their customers. They are big...but their customer's money will go elsewhere. MasterCard saved a dime today, and lost a dollar next year.

I'm no longer a Pathetic Creature of Habit. Are YOU a Pathetic Creature of Habit? I'm telling you NOW: get out from under that shady, collapsing Mass Turd Cart before it dumps stink all over you too. Go away.

I'M cleaning house. I have no more patience.

DUMP MASTERCARD AS FAST AS YOU CAN.
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.
DUMP MASTERCARD AS FAST AS YOU CAN,
BEFORE THIS HAPPENS TO YOU, TOO.

MASTERCARD.

DUMP THEM.