October 7, 2003

BLIND FAITH

I've finished my quarterly taxes, it's a perfect Miata day out there, "Blind Faith" is on the stereo, and I just listened to a young Son's question of "Why CAN'T I get down?!" get answered with a Father's "Because."

I laughed, and said, "Yeh, my Dad had the same answer."

Dad responded, "It's easiest."

I said, "I'm sure it is."

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That answer, "Because", eventually became difficult for MY Dad. "BECAUSE" just didn't work with me by the age of about 10, so it began not "working" for him, either. I would always ask the next question. "BECAUSE WHY?!" By the time I was 13, he'd tried expanding the concept with the classic "Because I read it!" comeback. So...I would then ask the deadly "WHERE?" He never remembered. Soon, he switched to "A guy I know read about it and told me..."...a lateral pass I never accepted.

By then we'd damaged our relationship enough. My response, when there was one anymore, was reduced to "Yeh, right." I wanted reasoning, justifications, sources, and maybe a little faux-adult respect. I was a pain in the ass, that's for sure.

The folks encouraged my reading and researching interests from Day One. I LEARNED to love learning, and now it was now coming back to bite their hands AND asses - with my teeth - in the form of "Why NOTs!!??". They just weren't prepared for the dark (teen) side of the Q & A.

I think it was by that time I'd decided to never have children. I couldn't imagine having the stamina to get through those years as a parent...at least if the kids were ANYTHING like me. I was REAL work.

Looking back, I think EVERY Parent, and EVERY Child has cause to apologize for something during those years of upbringing. Sadly, we don't all get the chance. People often die before you've got yourself together.